So Hi Tops sold us out tonight and cancelled 10 cent wings so a bunch of past their prime Michigan State Fans could sit around in their too tight jerseys to watch their Spartans lose to the Tarheels...again.
Not wanting to lose our already paid parking spots we decided to walk to another bar in the area that had a food special and our regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Trivia. Victory Liquors it was. Now I must say I had been there once before and I was entirely blacked out so I could not provide a proper review, but from what I remember it was crowded and sweaty and being a white, skinny male I was definitely the minority. Not that theres anything wrong with overweight foreign females but its just not when you expect in Lincoln Park, home of the skinny white girl in leopard print.
Deciding to give it one more chance we walked in for half price sandwiches... I guess half priced meant you get what you paid for and it was only half cooked. After we received our first pitcher, we removed the dead spider that was floating in it and drank it anyways... yes, alcohol is a disinfectant and money is tight in this Obama Economy... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Honestly, the spider beer was the best thing on the menu.
I decided to not be too risky with my order and went with the Turkey BLT. Poor decision. The Bacon was as undercooked as a frat boy after a 10 minute discount tan and about as saggy as Betty White's Breasts. Definitely not a good combination.
In ordering my choice of side, our server informed us that the french fries were very similar to McDonald's making them very difficult to pass up. The server obviously smokes loads of crack before eating the fries as the similarities to McDonalds were parallel to my similarities to Brad Pitt.....Overall I give the food 1 star... and I'm still not sure if thats on a 5 or 10 star scale.
The atmosphere was as bland as the food. We heard Weezer was playing in Chicago tonight but I was confused to see them sitting at a table in the corner. Obviously the lead singer put on a ton of weight and if it werent for the terrible flannel and thick nerd glasses I would have never recognized him. I would also have thought he would have been there with a girl much more attractive than the Star Jones look-a-like sitting next to him... Just ewwe.
Now the trivia was very entertaining, if you are into Twilight and Insects. Seriously, who tailors these questions? Wouldn't you want to make them about things like Music and Sports to maybe attract a better crowd? Perhaps the saved energy from undercooking the bacon isnt enough to offset the profit loss from half priced food so they purposely drive people out. And if that wasnt enough to do it, the first time a customer steps into the bathroom might be... it was less appealing to the eye than the Star Jones look-a-like and less appealing to the nose than snorting Ajax... hey, we've all been scammed in a coke deal before...
There's about as good a chance I return to Victory Liquors as there is Milton Bradley becomes the most popular man in Chicago.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
As someone who reads a lot of blogs and was also in attendance with you last night, I would like to say that this might be the absolute worst blog post I have ever read.
ha i know man, it was a lame night but you asked for a review so i had to give it a shot...
Post a Comment